Writing the Body

🎙️ New episode: Margo Steines on her viscerally embodied memoir "Brutalities"

Jul 18, 2025

Hey Bleeders,

While I’m deep in revision for my debut memoir (Girl Gone Wild, coming March 2026!), I’m popping into your inbox with a crossover episode from my other podcast, Private Parts Unknown, featuring the brilliant Margo Steines.

Margo is the author of Brutalities: A Love Story, a gorgeously written memoir that explores the body, pain, violence, and survival, from her time as a dominatrix in NYC to a brutal relationship, to high-rise welding and high-risk pregnancy. It’s raw—full of big feelings and deep thoughts. I devoured it.

And yes, the conversation is still very much relevant to writing, especially if you're interested in turning personal history into complex, compelling art. Here’s a taste:

Brutalities’ publishing backstory

Margo sold Brutalities as a full manuscript (not on proposal), and she’s glad she did: “The idea of owing somebody a book really stresses me out.” She wrote the bulk of it as her MFA thesis and then spent serious time revising before submitting. The lesson? Go at your own pace, and write the whole damn thing if that’s what your creative brain needs.

Complexity is memoir’s best friend

Memoir doesn’t require a tidy arc; it requires brutal honesty. Margo's story unfolds through lived contradiction and nuance. “My ex brought a lot of harm into my life and also he brought a lot of things that were good into it. It was a mixed bag.” That kind of messy truth? That’s the juice. Let your contradictions breathe on the page.

How the 90s normalized ED

We dug deep into 90s diet culture and the way our generation was fed toxic aspirations. “When I was hospitalized for anorexia, that was the time I looked acceptable in Manhattan… people would tell me on the street I looked great.” Ugh. Margo shares how body obsession and disordered eating were not-so-subtly glorified and how that got braided into identity and control for her and other girls growing up at that time (hi, me).

Destigmatizing sex work

We discussed sex work then vs. now—how it gave her freedom, how the language and politics around it have evolved since her time in the industry, and why being out about it can help quash the stigma. “If as many people who can afford to talk about it would do that, I do think that would move the needle in a good direction.”

Mom stuff

As someone tentatively considering motherhood, I loved hearing Margo’s reflections on pregnancy and postpartum. She nails the disorienting identity shift and how she’s embraced it—and the impossibility of recovering from birth while doing emails off your newborn’s head (wtf is wrong with our culture).

A sneak peek at her next book

We also talked about Margo’s next book, which sounds like a fascinating exploration of breastfeeding. Milk, motherhood, and mammalian trauma? Honestly, I can’t wait.

🎧 Listen to Margo’s episode now!

Happy bleeding!
Courtney

I’m teaching some upcoming workshops you might be interested in:

So… ROLL CALL! 🗣

Smash that like button for Margo and her unflinching memoir.

If you were to write a book about your body, what would it be called?

The Bleeders

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